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How To Maintain Your Marriage When Your Husband Travels – Part 1

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During the Valentine Challenge, I had quite a few women mention that their husband’s were away either in the military or traveling for business.  And I want to say – I know the life of being married to a traveling man.

My husband’s heaviest year of travel was back in 2007 when he was away for a total of 210 days on business .  He traveled Monday through Friday and was home on Saturdays and Sundays – that adds up to 7 months away that year.  At the time, my children were ages 18 months and 3 years old.

I know how hard it is to wake up Friday morning and realize the only adult I spoke to was 3 days ago at Bible Study or the cashier in the grocery store (well it wasn’t much of a converstion – I was probably apologizing to the lady for my child’s wild behavior. lol!)  I know how hard it is to eat breakfast, lunch and dinner with little people who can’t carry a conversation…and the chair at the head of the table –empty.

I know the burden, boredom and sadness of long lonely days without daddy home.

I know what it’s like to “feel” like a single mom – all the educating, disciplining, spiritual training, boo boo kissing and cooking and cleaning and emergencies were handled by me alone.  I know what it’s like to have the heater break while it’s 20 degrees out and not be able to figure it out – so I plugged in space heaters and prayed for morning to come quickly.

I know what it’s like to live in fear of someone breaking into the house at night…when you hear that sound that is mysterious and know – it’s up to me to protect everyone in the house.  I know what it’s like for your husband to come home exhausted and all he wants to do is rest and stay home – while inside I cry because I’ve been stuck at home with the kids all week and all I want to do is go somewhere fun.

I know what it’s like for my husband to be out eating fancy steak dinners and going interesting places while we sat at home eating spaghettios and watching Barney.  I know!

I know what it’s like to watch other couples enjoying fellowship together while my husband is away and does not have the time or energy for casual friendships with other couples.  I know!

I know what it’s like to go to the garage in the morning – after wrestling the children into their clothes and find the garage door frozen solid shut –and cry…because there’s no man of the house to bail me out…

I know what it’s like to feel like a burden on others when

you need help.  I called my wonderful dad, he came and in the freezing cold – chipped the ice away for me while running a blow dryer on it. Three cheers for a great dad – but I hate being a burden on others because of our life choices.

I know what it’s like to be alone on a Sunday morning getting the kids ready for church…driving there…parking super far out in the parking lot because I was running late – then walking in on ice, in slippery shoes, carrying a baby and trying to wrangle a toddler and making it into the service and just wanting to lay down on the pew for a rest because getting the kids there was so exhausting. But I put on a smile and press on – for the kids sake, for my husband’s sake – for my own sake.

I know.

I know what it’s like to come home and find a mouse alive – in a trap – in the middle of my kitchen floor because some how it squirmed out from the pantry closet and there it sits with it’s beedy eyes staring at me and there’s no man to dispose of it! @#$@! BAH!  Now I should have put a bucket over it and waited 3 days for my husband to come home – but the kids were screaming and on the counter and I was disgusted so…I got the dust pan – put it over it – and then stepped on it – DUH.   Big no no – it’s not a bug – you should not attempt to squish a mouse to death. (just stating this for the record) …but I did – and blood splattered everywhere…

So I took a bad situation and made it WAY worse – I KNOW!  I know what it’s like to not know how to handle everything thrown your way and cry because you just want your man to come home!

I know!

And so…this Friday, I’ll share with you – how I made it through those years…and be glad this post is too long already – so you don’t have to hear the story about when the bat was in our house flying around – another @#$!@ moment.  Or when I came home, opened the door and the house was completely filled with smoke AHHHHH! Or the multiple trips to the emergency room for things such as swallowing strange objects or my daughter’s teeth being knocked out – for some reason these emergencies only seem to happen when he is gone !

Friends, I really do know.  If you are in this place today my heart goes out to you.

**Chime In: Are you in this place right now – how has God helped you through these hard times?

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