Flo The Progressive Insurance Lady and Why She Should Die
Flo. The name of the chick in the progressive insurance commercials, and the reason I will never buy progressive insurance, EVER.
This over bubbly and high volume woman has been annoying the living shit out of me for too long. I rarely punch women in the face. but I would drop kick this chick in the face. As I write this article with the tv on, a progressive commercial has come on and further enraged me. SHUT THE FUCK UP. THE WORLD SUCKS! And we’re at the bottom end of a recession, stop being happy. You don’t appeal to me!
This perky, quirky and devil-like woman is always shown in commercials within a large white and sterile-looking warehouse selling boxes of insurance. The pure white background really brings out her stupid red clown face and fire crotch hair, annoying me visually and audibly. They make her stick out like an emo kid at a pep rally. She also has her “tricked out name tag” (GOD I WANT YOU TO DIE!!) and small child personality. ITS NOT CUTE. Its fucking annoying! Grow up! I hope someone releases her in a sex tape.
With all of her shitty 5 year old humor and bubbly persona poisoning me slowly, it doesn’t end there. Morons of facebook have even taken to making multiple fan pages for her with thousands of fans. When I see anyone join that group, I immediately remove them from my friends list and then spread rumors about them having herpes, AND AIDS.
What happened to the good ol’ days of awesome spokespeople? Like the Bud Light “I love you man” guy, Tony the Tiger, or the Coors light twins? Now a days we have the Verizon douchebag, or the god damn English speaking Geico Gecko. Go fuck yourself Gecko. Instead of clever, interesting and cool characters we get this make up splattered woman who annoys the living shit out of people, and according to Progressives marketing team shes not going any where. Her comic timing is more like headache and vomit timing for yours truly and every corny joke and gag makes me want to shoot a hole through my television. WHHHHHHYYYY.
Some one must stop her. One day, my brothers and sisters we will conquer this fictional character of auto insurance commercials.Source: thethirdbrand.com