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Rule 1: Never Hit On A Girl During The First Week Of School

"I'll be BACK. in like. one more week!"

Picture this: You’re playing a game of football with a bunch of the guys when suddenly, your buddy brings over his new friend. This new friend (let’s call him: Whitey) seems quite normal, so all of you decide that he’s cool enough to be on your team. Suddenly, four minutes into the game, Whitey starts calling the shots and Whitey tries to tell everyone what to do. He’s obviously trying to take over as the new Quarterback – and he might even be a really good one – but the fact that he came out on his first day, guns blazing, makes you feel uneasy.

S o you start to question his “motives” and eventually, regardless if the guy has any skills, all of you just think of him as a pasty skinned douchebag who needs to get his head slapped on straight. In essence, this is what it’s like if you hit on a girl on the first week. If you do anything on the first week, some girls might think “Who does this guy think he is? This is the FIRST week of school and he’s ALREADY making moves? Does he even care about school?”

"So like, school is for fools, and government is like the DEVIL, man! Wanna fuck in my parents basement?"

N ow of course, this might be a far stretch, but you have to understand that while men think in terms of “I got the girl” vs “I didn’t get the girl”, women will categorize you as anything from: creeper, stalker, loser, jock, player, and much much more. So just to be on the safe side, wait till the second week. Let the steak cool down before you hack into it with brutal force. After all, you have the whole quarter, what’s the rush?

Rule 2: Make It Seem Like It Was An Accident

"I'm so sorry! I had no idea you were studying here! Sorry for exposing you to my perfect abs!"

E very time I listen to a married couple explain their “how we met” story, it usually involves some kind of coincidence or an event where both individuals just happened to be doing the same thing. Ex: “Well, me and Takeshi met during our Anime Club meeting. I was drawing a picture of a Totoro when Takeshi walked up and asked ‘Is that Totoro?’ We’ve been together ever since!”

N o, I’m not saying that you should join the anime club and seek out desperate weeaboos. What I am saying is that when you make your approach, make it seem very natural and organic. So many guys nowadays feel like they need to go cold steel, walk up with confidence and say “Hi, my name is Erick and I think you are cute.” Unless you’ve been beaten with rocks as a child, you probably know by know that this approach (for lack of a better term) sucks balls.

"OH GOD! Is this the lady's locker room! I'm so sorry! Do you think you could escort me and my abs towards the men's locker room?"

T hink natural. Approach her in the library and ask her where she found the book she just checked out. Sit down next to her on a bench and inquire, “Do you know what time it is?” Think realistically. If it sounds like a pick up line, it probably is. Never start a sentence with “Hi, what’s your name?” Put her in situations that seem normal and comfortable. Once you make that first bit of conversation, you can work your way into more advanced techniques such as “Hey, I need to stop by the administration’s office and pick up my educational plan, wanna come along?”

Rule 3: Don’t Eat Where You Shit

. not THAT literal

G ranted that your college campus is bigger than your computer room, you’ll notice that there are lots of spaces where lots of girls hang out: the study hall, the cafeteria, the library, the bench area, the outside

eating area, etc. All of these places are crawling with women and one of the mistakes I see many guys making is that they stick to one area. They only hit on girls in the cafeteria, or girls in the sports facility. Move around and sample from every area of the campus.

H owever, don’t forget this key rule: If you hit on a girl and you fail, even if there’s a girl two feet away that you KNOW you can talk to, do not, I repeat, DO NOT talk to her. The instant you walk off and talk to another girl within the same area, you run the risk of letting everyone in that section know that you are a player. And no, contrary to what rappers might say, being a player is not a good look. It might get you street cred but in the world of women, that can only earn you a spot on the naughty list (and not the sexy kind.)

S o if you screw up in the library, move on and take your shots in the cafeteria, or maybe even the second floor of the library.

Rule 4: You Don’t ALWAYS Have To Get Her Phone Number

"My chocolate ladies, please! Be patient! There's enough yellow fever for EVERYONE!"

A common misconception made by many guys is that in order to actually get a “point” when talking to girls, you need to get a phone number, a facebook, or some way to contact them. WRONG! Often times, you could be doing more damage to the situation and even worse, you could be screwing up everything you worked on.

Y ou see, the idea that I want to preach is the idea of being totally natural. No girl wants to be approached by a nervous, sweaty, and stuttering guy who’s fumbling his words as he tries to think of witty things to say. Girls want confidence and the best way to be confident is to be yourself, and act normal. So how do you do that? By talking about normal things.

"You ladies are absolutely right. I think a four-some would be MUCH more efficient, don't cha think?"

H owever, girls have laser beams installed into their brains so whenever a guy says a pickup line or tries to make an approach that is unwanted, a girl will shoot you down faster than John Rambo can shoot a helicopter. So even though you’ve made good progress and you’ve talked to a girl for a good 30 minutes, asking her for her cell phone number might blow your cover. She might think “Awww, I was having so much fun talking to him and then he got all serious. Well, I’m busy with school now and I don’t have time for boys.’

F AIL! YOU FAILED! Ya see? Not all girls want to be swept off their feet, and even if they do, some of them prefer to be eased into the situation. To some women, asking them for their phone number during the first 30 minutes is moving a little too fast. It’s too clingy and it makes them question “Why did he even talk to me in the first place? To talk to me, or get in my pants?”

I *slap* AM *slap* NOT *slap* INTERESTED!

Now What? Look, did you honestly think I was going to give you that nugget of advice without offering an explanation? Listen up: one of the things that I like to do if I don’t get a phone number is to say “Hey, well, I have to head to my next class but maybe I’ll see you tomorrow or something? Same time? Sure! Nice talking to you too!” You might not get her number but by saying this, you make her anticipate the next time you meet. What you did was you planted a seed in her mind which made her think “Wow… what a nice, laid back guy! He didn’t try to get my number or anything! I’d really like to see him again.”

G irls like patient guys.

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